Do You Treat Your Partner As Well As Your Pet?

Last week, in case you missed it, Sherry Shepherd, Jacque Reed, Hill Harper and Jimi Israel, with Steve Harvey as the moderator, were on the ABC news segment, Nightline. They were discussing the state of relationships between black men and black women. Most of the information that came out during the dating environment between the sexes was pretty basic and obvious and didn’t provide any actionable items. My mind quickly went to the book I am reading, Mastery of Love by Don Miguel Ruiz. I wanted to share some food for thought for those struggling in their relationships. Enjoy!

Imagine a Perfect Relationship. You are always intensely happy with your partner because you live with the perfect woman or man for you. How would you describe your life with this person? Well, the way you relate with this person will be exactly the way you relate with a dog. A dog is a dog. It doesn’t matter what you do, it’s going to be a dog. You are not going to change a dog for a cat or a dog for a horse; it is what it is.

Just accepting the fact in your relations with other humans is important. You cannot change other people. You love the way they are or you don’t. To try to change them to fit what you want them to be is like trying to change a dog for a cat, or a cat for a horse. That is a fact. They are what they are; you are what you are. You dance or you don’t dance. You need to be completely honest about yourself. To say what you want, and see if you are willing to dance or not. You must understand this point, because it is very important. When you truly understand, you are likely to see what is true about others, and not just what you want to see.

If you own a pet a dog or a cat, think about how you relate to your pet. Let’s consider your relationship with a dog, for example. The animal knows how to have a perfect relationship with you. When your dog does something wrong, what do you do with your dog? A dog doesn’t carewhat you do; it just loves you. It doesn’t have any expectations. Isn’t that wonderful? But what about your girlfriend, your boyfriend, your husband, or your wife? They have so many expectations, and they are changing all the time.

The dog is responsible for its half of the relationship with you. One half of the relationship is completely normal ---- the dog’s half. When you come home, it barks at you, it wags his tail, it pants because it is so happy to see you. It does its part very well, and you know it is the perfect dog. Your part is almost perfect also. You handle your responsibility; you feed your dog; you take care of your dog; you play with your dog. You do your part and your dog does its part perfectly.

Most people can easily imagine this kind of relationship with their dog, but why not with a woman or a man? Do you know any woman or any man who is not perfect? The dog is a dog, and that is okay with you. You don’t need to be responsible for your dog, to make it a dog. The dog doesn’t try making you be a good human, a good master. Then why can’t we allow a woman to be a woman or a man to be a man and love that human just the way he or she is without trying to change that person?

Perhaps you are thinking, “But what if I am not with the right woman or the right man?” That is a very important question. Of course, you have to choose the right woman or the right man. And what is the right woman, the right man? Someone who wants to go in the same direction as you do, someone who is compatible with your views and your values ---emotionally, physically, economically, spiritually.